A Lack of Words
by Slothislife
Summary: It must have been the way his face crinkled in defeat, or the uncharacteristic lack of words, but Juliet didn't have the heart to turn him away. Instead, they stood stationary, staring at the other, separated by space and a doorframe. "I miss you," Shawn finally said delicately, his voice soft and almost wounded-like. "Juliet. I miss you. I need you."


She curled into her pillow, blankets wrapped messily around her body, the sheets and covers of her bed strewn chaotically about the mattress as her breath shook nervously with emotion. The blankets that enveloped her were somewhat comforting, but she knew they were no substitute for the human embrace she longed for. Her mind alternated between the night of Shawn's confession and the dance they shared earlier that day- the sweet, tender movements made in rhythm against that ever so romantic atmosphere. Her heart alternated between his lies and his love.  
Juliet squeezed the pillow tighter to her chest, releasing a small fraction of her distressing thoughts, arms and knees contracting into her being like a sleeping infant. Oh, she missed him. She couldn't admit it to herself until this moment, but she missed him terribly. Even after her recent string of bad-ass arrests, her hard cop exterior crumbled entirely under the loneliness of the night, and her eyes welled up in recollection of their previous life together, a series of shared moments shattering in the face of his lies. Close talking. Hand-holding. All intimate moments mocking her despite efforts to deny her feelings. The slight tremble in her body reminded her of her utter weakness for him. Her weakness for his love.  
In her reminiscing she recalled Declan suddenly, and all his sweetness. Juliet also recalled the way he looked down to his feet, shying his eyes and pursing his lips in sad rejection and silent knowing, knowing of the true reason jwhy she couldn't be with him. For a moment she allowed herself to block Shawn from her mind, imagining what could have happened if she had gone with Declan to the almalfi coast. Perhaps she could have been swept up in the magic of the vacation, and perhaps she would have never engaged in a relationship with Spencer at all. Perhaps she would have never discovered the fact that Shawn wasn't a psychic. She would have never known that he had been lying to her and the entire Santa Barbara Police Department from day one.  
But she didn't miss Declan, especially in comparison to the deep aching she felt for Shawn. At the moment, though, she did develop an even greater appreciation for Declan's honesty in his profession.  
Juliet gave another deep sigh. It seemed that's all she did lately when she was alone in the emptiness of her home. Their home.  
What Juliet didn't know was that on the opposite side of her front door stood a certain man equally nerve-shaken, unknowingly taking deep breaths in unison with hers as he pulled through the mess of his usually carefully crafted hair. He hated himself for coming here again. He knew she would turn him away like all other times. Yet, he was on her doorstep. He simply couldn't keep away any longer.  
However, he had been standing in the same spot for at least ten minutes, and Shawn still couldn't bring himself to knock on her door. He knew he'd have to say the perfect line, construct a most beautiful and heart-wrenching speech to get her to even consider letting him in at this time.  
But Shawn was confident in at least one thing, and that was his ability to think quickly in any situation. He swatted away his doubts and knocked impulsively on her door, his heartbeat doubling despite his confident nature, a slight tremor in his hand as he drew it away.  
Inside, the knocking awoke Juliet from her thoughts. Caution and annoyance swept over her. She wondered who could possibly be at her door so late, mind now completely devoid of Shawn as she slipped a holster at her side and her evening robe over it. A cop can never be too cautious.  
A hand near her pistol, she opened the door to find Shawn alone on her doorstep, staring wide-eyed. He opened his mouth to say something, but it was dry, a severe drought of words deserting his mind, and so he just shut his mouth again and swallowed.  
"Shawn?" Genuine surprise marked her tone, not anger, or even happiness to see him, but mere surprise. "Shawn, what are you doing here?"  
His eyes grew wider.

"I-I... Uh..."  
It must have been the way his face crinkled in defeat, or the uncharacteristic lack of words, but Juliet didn't have the heart to turn him away. Instead, they stood stationary, staring at the other, separated from space and a doorframe.  
"I miss you," Shawn finally said delicately, his voice soft and almost wounded-like. "Juliet. I miss you. I need you."  
He paused for a brief moment, his face solemn and his eyes glistening slightly, trying to collect himself from the wave of emotion that swept over him when he saw her face. His Juliet.  
"I love you. I love you so much. You're the only- Ive never- not like this-" And his voice broke off into incoherency, and he gave out a nearly inaudible whimper as he broke the space between them, crossing the doorframe and enveloping her in his arms. She was weak against him now, and she let him pull her closer as she breathed him in-his scent, his being, his love- she needed him, too, just as equally as he needed her. He held her as tight as he could, and he promised himself he wouldn't let go until she made him. He begged her in his mind not to turn him away- he missed this far too much. He missed her too much.  
Slowly, she pulled away from his hands rubbing gently along her back, and the warmth of his skin. Juliet almost had a mind to tell him to leave, that it was too soon for any of this. Too soon to be together again. But she just quietly shut the door and smiled at him with a worn sort of smile. A worn but loving smile. She didn't have to say a word; he knew she was letting him stay.  
Juliet knew deep down that it would come to this surrender, and after all they had been through too much to simply end it now. Shawn could lie about everything else, but when it came to their relationship she knew somehow that he was being true.  
"Shawn, it's late. Come to bed." She said, and she really was tired. Those last few weeks took some energy out of even Juliet.  
"Anything you wish, Jules my dear. And I do mean anything." Shawn's tone was back to normal, and he had such a goofy smile on his face that Juliet had to laugh as they climbed under her covers, no longer so lonely now. Shawn wrapped his arms around her body and buried his face in the nape of her neck, breathing her in.  
"Is that a gun I feel? Jules! I'm not going to kill you. At least not intentionally. Unless with kisses. Then again, people DO say I have a killer smile." he said, laughing slightly as he reached under her robe and disarmed her. In the same movement, he leaned in and kissed her, long and sweet in the passion of the night.

Juliet felt whole again in the simple presence of Shawn, whole in his love. She just smiled, even into his gentle kisses, she smiled.

He held her, and she knew she was home.


End file.
